Congratulations MUFFIN PUFFIN!!!!

Family,

And a good evening to you from across the Pond after another GREAT DAY in the Mother Country. Okay, so according to the Hitman a) I only have until 11 AM on Thursday to use my mostest favoritest British word EVER (that would be “whilst”) AND b) my blogs have become depressing as hell in my last week in the Mother Country. Consequently, I am hopeful I can rejuvenate everyone’s spirits with this installment of Team Taylor’s escapades.

So first and foremost – CONGRATS TO MUFFIN PUFFIN!!!! That’s right, folks – my perfect pumpkin received some VERY well deserved recognition yesterday (granted, I’m a little biased, but hey – a husband can be proud, right?) and got the bump to VICE PRESIDENT! It was unexpected, and Jenny actually found out via email on Monday morning – what a way to start the week!

To celebrate and to begin “the transition,” Brother Morgan, Sister Lisa, Puffin, and me all rolled out for lunch to a spot we’d never hit before but seemed oddly appropriate – Singapore Sam’s. Now granted, we’ve had some culinary adventures before, but this was in a whole different category.

For starters, Owain and I had slight concerns when, upon plotting the route to this establishment, we noticed that the only other restaurant beside it was Burger King. Now normally, this is NOT a big issue. However, when you consider that this is the area of bankers, money, and expensive lunches, a fast food chain is never a good first sign indicator. But hey, thinking it would put me in the “hawker mood” for the Sing, we kept rolling.

Well, Singapore Sam’s is…basically…Panda Wok in the states. However, there was 1 small twist with this one. Just as we were about to walk up and place our order, A PIGEON FLEW OVER OUR HEADS AND LANDED IN THE KITCHEN. Clearly the pigeon felt at home there, BECAUSE HE LEFT AND CAME BACK 3 TIMES. The look on Perfect Pumpkin’s face? PRICELESS…

All the same, since a) all the dishes were covered and b) in the words of Matt Miller: “When it comes to street meat, go big or go home,” we ate there all the same (and quite enjoyed our meals, for the record).

The evening was a blur, as we had about FIFTEEN MILLION things to do at home. However, I’m happy to report that we did manage to cross almost everything off the list, including the biggest item, which was “prepare everything for the movers.”

Okay, that’s all the news that’s fit to print. Congrats again, muffin! I’m so proud of you!!!

Love,

Sam and Jenny

Our revels now are ended...

Family,

And a good evening to you from across the Pond after another GREAT WEEKEND in the Mother Country. Well, as much as I simply CANNOT BELIEVE I am typing this, it’s time to give you the recap of something that I thought would never come: our last weekend in the UK.

Friday: I GOT THE WHOLE CHICKEN, BABY!!!!! BOO-YAH!!!!!

So Friday was a good one from start to finish. The highlight of the work day (other than all of the wholistic yet detailed clear-and-crisp laser-like 1 pagers I worked on, of course) was, without a doubt – THE FAREWELL VISIT TO NANDO’S, BABY!!!! And why, pray tell, was this a religious experience – all I can say is CHECK THE LOYALTY CARD – we got the free whole chicken!!!!!

So seriously – back story on this – there is a “Nando’s loyalty card” whereby after 9 visits you get a free whole chicken. And whilst this is a good deal, by the time you’ve made 9 visits to this place, you’ve basically put in enough cash to open your own franchise. I mean seriously, even when you get something “free” at the halfway point, you still have to spend 6 quid to get it to count. I mean who’s doing this accounting, Madoff?

All the same, the chicken was, well – RELIGIOUS, and it kicked off a weekend of eating that was epic even by Transition expense account standards. CHUUUUUUBBY BUUUUUUUNNY!!!!!

After work, Team Taylor made what was, in all likelihood, the farewell trip to the Cat. It was almost as if the pub knew it was the end of an era, as despite it being RAMMED, a table opened up almost as soon as we rolled in. When you add in the fact that they had Jack Frost on draft (which is RARE), it made for a wonderful sendoff. The evening was not done, however, as Team Taylor made the walk across the frozen tundra of Canary Wharf to catch the DLR and make another curtain call – this time at La Figa!!!!

Again, it was just perfect – great food, 40 pounds of ravioli, good wine, and our usual wait staff shaking their heads at us. The only thing that didn’t go to plan was Sammy trying to go Bear Grylls style and “walk on water” in the frozen fountain, as about 2 seconds after the photo you see below, I promptly slipped and CRASHED into the ice and the side of the fountain. Guess I’m not as holy as originally believed…

We came home that night and PASSED OUT, sleeping a solid 12 hours to try and catch up from a busy week and some Jordanian jetlag.

Saturday: The pub crawl that wasn’t…

So Team Taylor rallied and got out of the house around 12:30 on Saturday, giving us a whopping THREE HOURS of daylight to wander around. The first stop was Borough Market, where being the soul mates we are we both shared the same thought – GET A DOUBLE CHORIZO SANDWICH ASAP. And let me tell you, it was soooooooooo guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuud (peppy cheekies). In truth, we were very well behaved in this final installment at the food market, only sucking down 100 grams of Stichelton cheese, 1 cheese cake brownie (the “curly whirly”), and a few random nibbles here and there. T-bone – I tried to secure 3 cranberry pastries, but they were already out – heartbreaking…

After Borough, we walked across London Bridge on a mission – find the Jerusalem Tavern. This spot, recommended by Brother Morgan, was one of the few remaining pubs on the list for us to try, as they serve exclusively St. Peter’s Ale, which is some good stuff.

Team Taylor wandered ALL OVER the Bank and Smithfield Market area, getting lost about 47 times. It wasn't all bad, however, as we FINALLY found Mansion House (home to the Lord Mayor of London), the Royal Exchange (the old stock market), and the official Bank of England. We even stopped by to say thanks to the cats that made it all possible. :-) FINALLY, however, we succeeded in locating Britton Street. 10 seconds later, I saw the sign for the pub, my heart skipping a beat for joy. Then and only then, however, did I notice the sign out front: PRIVATE PARTY. WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?! SERENITY NOW!!!!!!!!! And so, the front windows (single paned so that you could hear the laughter, merriment, and fellowship inside) were as close as we got to a proper pint of St. Peter’s Mild in the Jerusalem Tavern. However, not to be thwarted, we turned to head for Ye Olde Mitre, another pub high on the list and supposedly serving Dark Island.

Well, as fate would have it, Ely Place – the street where this pub resides – happens to be THE ONE STREET IN HOLBORN THAT’S NOT MARKED ON OUR MAP. Consequently, despite a good 30 minutes of wandering, we had NO LUCK in finding it. But spirits were still high, and we thought – “Let’s walk the mile plus back to the Ship near Bank – they’ll have Dark Island!” Two things:

They didn’t have Dark Island.
They closed TEN MINUTES BEFORE WE ARRIVED.

Determined to drink (and seriously dehydrated at this point), Team Taylor walked the 1.2 miles BACK to the OTHER Ship – this one near Holborn. There we found seats and SA Brains Festive Cheer Ales to warm us. Dinner that night was a delicious treat – Ping Pong Dim Sum! We basically ate Southeast Asia out of pork,as we just KEPT killing pot after pot. That stuff was GUUUUUUUUUUUUUD…It was then home for another 12 hour sleep, but not before I caught a little of the SEC championship – Waaaaaaaaar Eagle!

Sunday: I just want to hear some Irish music!

Team Taylor was out the door before noon this day, but only because we had a deadline – the noon cutoff for English Breakfast orders at the Prince Regent! However, since I’m sure the suspense is more than you can bear, I’ll go ahead and confirm that, not only did we make the cutoff, we DECIMATED those plates of food and even made way for a second cup of coffee.

We then made a final wander through Regent’s Park, taking a final stroll past the Open Air Theater and even the Rose Garden, where some of those tough buggers were still clinging to life, despite the deep freeze plaguing the city. It was then down to Embankment, where we wandered down by the river, including swinging over to the Southbank for a Christmas Market – full marks to Muffin Puffin for this find!!!

After doing a bit of shopping, team Taylor wandered along the river, taking some GREAT shots of the sunset (at 3:45, for the record) before heading to the last item on the check list – The Porterhouse.

So the only thing I had on my to-do list this day was “go to Porterhouse, have a Red, and listen to the Irish Seisiun.” We’ve been there on Sundays many times before, and I always LOVE to hear the Irish band that james just above the bar. This time we showed up right at 4 PM, ready to watch them JAM – only to find out that they were starting at 5 PM that day (due to the weather). CLASSIC. But hey – we had 3 guuuuuuud pints and had a blast, so no complaints!

Dinner that night was – where else – FAREWELL TO THE DOOT, BABY!!!!! And BOY did they give me a proper sendoff. I asked for Madras, but when it came out, Jenny said, “There’s a potato in yours.” Translation – POTATOES ARE ONLY USED FOR VINDALOO. Seriously – I was BREATHING FIRE – BRAVEHEART STYLE. I actually think the guy was using ghost chilis back there and that they were testing weaponized chili on me. Ugh…

Okay, that’s all the news that’s fit to print. Chat tomorrow!

Love,

Sam and Jenny

Catch-up Blog #1: Crossing off the final pair of to-do's...

Family,

And a good Sunday morning to you from across the Pond in the frozen tundra that is London after another GREAT DAY in the Mother Country. Seriously - the two photos below are images I just never thought I'd see in London. I mean, the Globe might be warming, but Britain somehow clearly didn't get that memo...

You'll get a recap of the (FINAL) weekend's activities tonight, but for now I'll cover off all that transpired on Wednesday and Thursday, namely the completion of the "Countdown to Exodus Checklist!!!"

So a little backstory here - As I'm sure anyone who knows us will confirm, Team Taylor is pretty serious about planning in advance (case in point - me handing GC my list of vacation days for 2006 ON JANUARY 1ST OF THAT YEAR). Once we got extended 6 months, we made a day-by-day calendar to ensure that we could fit in everything we wanted to see prior to departure. And whilst we didn't see a West Ham game (unfortunate, since they are STILL in the relegation zone), I am SUPER pleased to report that, effective 10:00 PM on Thursday, Team Taylor officially crossed off the only other remaining item on the list.

On Wednesday, Team Taylor hit a show that we had been wanting to see since AUGUST OF 2009 - "Warhorse." Seriously, this show has been sold out EVERY NIGHT since our arrival, and we had heard NOTHING but amazing things. And when you add in that a) Spielberg is about to turn it into a movie and b) they were THE MOST EXPENSIVE TICKETS WE'VE BOUGHT OF ALL OUR SHOWS, you naturally expect great things. Well, we should have lowered our standards.

Our seats were amazing, and the choreography and direction was very cool - lights, blocking, rotating stage, etc. Most impressive, of course, was the horse, which was actually a puppet controlled by 3 people. The show itself, however, was a little light on plot and somewhat disappointing. I'm really glad that we saw it, but for those of you contemplating catching it on Broadway (it opens March 2011), I would say skip it unless you a) REALLY want to see it and b) can get REALLY cheap seats.

The walk home (whilst FRIGID!) was nice, as Muffin and I walked "in a winter wonderland" along Oxford Street, enjoying the snow pouring down and the lights set up for Christmas. That part really was magical.

On Thursday, Team Taylor was BACK in the West End, this time to see the FINAL SHOW on the list - "Love Never Dies." This show, Andre Lloyd Webber's latest AND the sequel to "Phantom of the Opera," was actually pretty good. We had GREAT seats again, and we definitely enjoyed this one a lot more. That being said, the show was a bit helter skelter in places AND had a BRICK WALL ending. All the same, much like watching James Cameron's "The Abyss," the show was definitely worth the blung for the first 2 hours of it. I will tip my cap to the dude who played the Phantom, as he could flat WAIL - Michael Crawford's got nothin' on that guy. Also, Webber did score another tuly iconic song in the second act of this one - expect this to appear on his next greatest hits album.

And because it simply must be stated: U-C-F! LET'S GO KNIGHTS!!!!! Liberty Bowl bound, baby!!!!!! WOOOOO-HOOOOO!!!!!!

Okay, it's time to get out and get after it - our final Sunday in the Smoke! Chat later today!

Love,

Sam and Jenny

Jordan - Part 3 (the Trilogy ends)...

Family,

And a good evening to you from across the Pond after another GREAT DAY in the Mother Country. The last chapter dealt with canyons, horrible songs form the 70’s, and AMAZING hiking. And so, striking while the iron’s hot vs. “pulling another Croatia,” Team Taylor presents the 3rd and final installment of Jordan.

Friday: Bamboo saddles = TERRIBLE IDEA

So Friday started with something more precious than gold – AN EXTRA HOUR OF SLEEP. We didn’t set out until 9 AM (that’s right, folks – Team Taylor gets up earlier on vacation than we EVER think about surfacing for work or on weekends), but we managed to dodge the big bus this time, opting instead for 4x4’s. Why, you ask? Because Team Explore was DESERT BOUND, BABY!!!!

Friday was one of the big highlights of the tour – a full day in the desert, complete with pretty much EVERYTHING you can do in the sand. We had an AWESOME drive into the desert (Omar was our driver, and homeboy knows how to buzz over some sand), stopping for some CRAZY photo opps, including this REALLY cool stretch of rock that has formed a natural arch. Check out the rough and tumble Muffin Puffin half of Team Taylor exploring the terrain, Lawrence of Arabia style! It was a decent climb up, so kudos to Brother Mark for figuring out a much simpler way back down.

As you can tell by the photos, this place is basically “Monument Valley on steroids.” Seriously – it was like staring at the surface of Mars – completely rock, barren, and filled with red and yellow dust. I was honestly mesmerized the entire day. Dad – it reminded me of trips out West, where the activity was staring out the window and taking in “beauty beyond” – something that I STILL love doing.

We rolled into our campsite around 11 or so and promptly devoured our lunch before setting off on the highlight of the day – A 4X4 TOUR INTO THE DEEP DESERT! Seriously – this…was…EXTRA…AWESOME. We spent 2 hours buzzing around, stopping for some AMAZING photo ops and for a chance to showcase just how FAT AND OUT OF SHAPE I WAS – that’s right, campers – Sammy tried to run up a sand dune.

So seriously, as the token idiot American on the tour, I found myself always at the forefront of foolishness. This time, however, I forgot that a) I wasn’t drinking water so I wouldn’t have to pee every 20 minutes, b) I hadn’t slept properly in a week, c) my fitness level at present is that of a 97 year old, and d) no amount of training is ever going to prepare you to hike up a sand dune. Consequently, halfway up I thought my lungs might explode. I took solace (momentarily) in the fact that I was the only one climbing, but then suddenly Carsten, the “great Dane” of the group (from Copenhagen – Yazz and Sam – I don’t think he shares our passion for Danish karaoke), began his ASSAULT of the summit. He pretty much walked straight up the damn thing without taking a break. T-bone – it was kind of like Cracker Tsunami at the Tongariro crossing: you sprinted up the mountain, I tried not to die en route.

After the 4x4, we returned to camp for the other “must do” in the desert – a TWO HOUR CAMEL RIDE. So a few things here:

1. Camels hate me and I hate camels. I am convinced all of them want to kill me and eat me, but perhaps not in that order.
2. My camel’s name was unpronounceable, so I called him Bob (no offense intended to my father-in-law there). I thought that by naming him we could bond and break the mold with my previous camel experiences. I was wrong.
3. Unpronounceable/Bob clearly hadn’t been fed since Lawrence of Arabia was running around this desert, as he stopped at EVERY BUSH AND PLANT TO EAT. My guide probably should have done something, but he was too busy ON HIS NOKIA PHONE to notice that we were 75 miles away from the rest of the group. I mean, for crying out loud, Sally’s camel was SEVEN MONTHS PREGNANT and had more “oomph” than my dude.

Jenny and I had done previous rides, but I gotta tell you, this one was easily the most brutal. After 2 hours, all I could think was:

1. I will never walk properly again.
2. Adoption is our only hope.
3. I am glad I wasn’t born to be a Silk Road trader.
4. Please someone give me a beer.

That being said, it was HILARIOUS, and we have some CLASSIC photos, most of which are of the sky, random rocks, and sideways people, as trying to take a photo whilst sitting on a hungry, jogging camel with a driver not paying attention makes for a rather “post modernistic” photo shoot.

Dinner that night was GREAT – we had the traditional Bedouin and Jordanian dish of Mansaf, which is lamb and chicken cooked underground for hours with vegetables. It was UBER TASTY, and I ate about 10 times my body weight before spending the next couple of hours looking up at the night sky. As there was ZERO light pollution, the view was AMAZING. It was so good, in fact, that Perfect Pumpkin and I slept out under the stars! I hadn’t done that since I was a pup, so it was truly fantabulous (I mean, not quite as nice as learning about all of the animals featured in “The Wild West Show” – PHEEEEENOMENAL…FAAAAAANTASTIC…What the HELL is that?”, but it was still good).

Saturday: Strong swimmers only…and by strong we mean Michael Phelps

Saturday was a drive out of the desert and down to the very tip of Jordan – the town of Aqaba, where Jordan touches the Red Sea. From here we were only 1 mile from Israel and 12 miles from the Saudi Arabian border (oddly enough, JT didn’t want to take a day trip…), but rather than risk nightmare border crossings, Team Taylor opted instead for snorkeling and beach time at a nearby Beach Resort.

So here’s the thing – in Jordan, most beaches are public, but there are “beach clubs” where the tourists go to a) lock up their stuff, b) have better facilities, c) have access to a pool, d) be able to rent gear, and e) DRINK BEER!!!! That’s right, folks – Team Taylor FINALLY fell off the wagon in Aqaba! It’s the greatest city EVER!!!!

So seriously – our goal for the day was snorkeling, and this place did rent gear. However, the quote from the divemaster was “strong swimmers only.” Again, Sammy the Bull, considering himself the peak of fitness, didn’t think twice about paying the money for snorkel gear. However, the second his flabby ass hit those choppy seas, there was a moment of consideration for personal safety.

You see, Aqaba is “the windsurfing capital of the Middle East.” I’m not really sure how many other cities actually fought for that designation, but I’m pretty sure this place would kick all of their asses. THE WIND WAS LIKE 14,000 MILES AN HOUR. Jenny and I spent the better part of an hour trying JUST TO STAY ALIVE, as the waves were constantly flooding our breathing tubes, the current pushing us to Saudi Arabia, and the water so choppy that it kept knocking out masks off. Now don’t get me wrong, we saw lots of very, very pretty (and colorful) fish, but the coral and the water made it a trying experience. On the whole, I’m VERY glad we did it, but I think my next snorkel will have to be the reef. It’s time to see the real thing.

We spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing in the club, including an hour snooze in a hammock! The weather was perfect, and Muffin and I were the ABSOLUTE peak of relaxation. Good times.

Prior to dinner, we threw caution and previous experience to the wind and tried the OTHER Jordanian Brewery – Petra. This stuff, with a logo that is CLEARLY a ripoff of the Silver Bullet, was 10%!!! Honestly, it wasn’t very good, but hey – we had to cross it off the list, right (insert Grimshaw shaking her head again here)? We had a team dinner that evening, which was DELISH. Roland (our tour guide) and I went head to head in a calorie consumption contest, unofficially declaring it a draw when we both passed 20,000. That orange mezze dip – RELIGIOUS. And I should probably mention the 5.5 dinar Amstel we had as a nightcap, but I’m pretty sure that any more dialogue about it will result in death threats from most of the tour group, as I was the guy who picked the spot. Oops…

Sunday: WOW – you really DO float!

Sunday was an easy day with only one activity on the docket – a visit to the Dead Sea. I really didn’t know what to expect on this one, but I gotta tell ya – it was CRAZY.

The Dead Sea is the lowest point on earth, some 422 meters below sea level. The water in the sea is 30% salt, which is roughly 12 times saltier than the ocean. Because of this, you are ridonkulously buoyant whilst floating. Case in point, check us out, bobbing up and down like corks and reading our book (I finished that book, “The Secret Speech,” on the trip, btw – it’s the sequel to “Child 44” and it’s AWESOME)! And I would simply be remiss if I didn’t note that some folks were able to bob and float better than others. Let’s just say that more than a few newspapers were “collateral damage” as a result of folks tumbling into water, with the best line of the whole day coming from Mike: “Darling, put the puppies back.” (Honestly, I’m still laughing as I type this). We spent about 90 minutes in the water, floating around and swimming through what can only be described as slimy olive oil. We even took time out to coat ourselves in “Dead Sea mud” as part of a scrubbing ritual. I mean, let’s face it, who doesn’t love a good exfoliation every now and then?

This last day was an easy one, complete with the drive back to Amman and a farewell dinner at “Sam’s Diner,” which is what the tour group christened it after my 3rd visit. I mean, hey – good food CHEAP. Hitman, if they had places this cheap in London, I might have even paid for a meal once in awhile…okay, that’s just silly. Of course I wouldn’t have.

Team Taylor was asleep EARLY this night. Why, you ask? Keep reading.

Monday: Home Sweet Arctic

You know it’s gonna be a long day when your alarm goes off BEFORE the morning call to prayer. Oh, yes – who loves waking up at 4:15 to head to the airport? THIS GUY – but seriously, not so much.

We had a 5 AM cab to take us to Queen Alia Airport, where despite my BEST efforts, Team Taylor did NOT get the bump again. However, no complaints, as I got to watch Inception on the flight (as well as Jonah Hex, which was utter DONKEY TRASH) AND we arrived 40 minutes early! That set us up to cross off lots of to-do’s running around London, culminating with dinner at (where else?) THE DOOT, BABY!!!! We’ve only got 1 Doot run left – how on EARTH is that possible?


That being said, most of the "crossing off" we did was indoors, as it was (and still is) BLOODY FREEZING IN LONDON RIGHT NOW. Seriously, it was 85 when we left Amman and 28 when we landed at Heathrow! My bones still haven't warmed up. Just one more sign that it's time for Asia!

Okay, that’s WAY more than enough news fit to print, but now you’re all caught up with Jordan. Chat tomorrow!
Love,

Sam and Jenny

Jordan - Part 2...

Family,

And a good evening to you from across the Pond after another GREAT DAY in the Mother Country. Okay, so when I last left you, we were knee deep in famished horses, hungover legionnaires, and cheap hummus. So I figure it’s time to keep the non-alcoholic party goin’! And so, I present to you Part 2 of the Jordan adventure – drum roll please…

Tuesday: Can you hear me now? Nope? Good…

So Tuesday started EARLY – 6 AM brekkie for a 7 AM departure. The crowd was energized, the weather perfect, and the breakfast hummus soaked in enough oil to kill a small horse or burn down a small city. All was right with the world until we got onto our bus – which looked like it hadn’t been cleaned since independence. The tray tables were covered in old food, which was less than stellar, but that was remedied with a simply closing of the tray tables. The fact that the bus was a SIBERIAN ICEBOX, however, was apparently trickier, as we couldn’t seem to get the AC to turn OFF. Again, this was remedied by more fleeces (or jumpers as we would say here – OSC – not that kind of Jumper…ah, how I miss the Hard Rock Café in Lisboa), and all was right with the world. But then Mohammed (our guide) got on the mike:

“Amman…amman….amman….is the capital…capital…capital…city of Jordan…dan….dan”

That’s right – static and echo together, baby – bring it on! We tried to fix the mike, but there was no saving it. However, between an Aussie, Scot, Canuck, Yank, and loads of Brits, we did manage to piece together 60-70% of the presentation en route to our first stop of the day – the Baptism Site.

Okay, so this spot is apparently where John the Baptist performed the baptism of Jesus. This was truly a surreal experience for the following reasons:

1. How do you really get your head around a claim like that? This guy was struggling. Mohammed said that this exact spot had been conclusively proven to be the place, and when I asked him what the evidence was, he simply said, “I don’t know – but it’s been proven.” I can almost see Richard Dawkins shaking his head…
2. We could see Jericho just across the water – seriously, THE Jericho! Joshua was nowhere in site, but it was CRAZY cool all the same.
3. We actually got a chance to step into the River Jordan and were literally 20 feet from the Israeli border. It was such a weird juxtaposition – a peaceful, flowing stream surrounded by fences and barbed wire.
4. Every time I said, “I can’t believe that’s Israel,” Mohammed corrected me and said, “That is not – it is the West Bank of occupied Palestine.” This seriously happened to me about 87 times – I’m glad they don’t cane tourists for slips of the tongue.

We had about an hour in the site, which was truly amazing. Obviously, as a Christian, I truly want to believe that this is the site where this happened and that we were truly, literally walking in the footsteps of Christ. I will confess that I struggle with how they could know for certain that this was the spot, but I’m also conscious that this is just on of the many things a believer must take on faith, and I will rest contentedly in the knowledge that, even if it wasn’t that spot, it was certainly near by.

After that, we rolled over to Mt. Nebo, the spot where Moses a) saw the promised land and then b) later died prior to crossing the river Jordan. I gotta be honest – whilst this was really cool, unless the view was different back then, it did NOT look too promising. There were some fertile patches to be sure (which, after coming out of the Sinai peninsula, I’m sure looked VERY inviting), but there was a LOT of rugged, inhospitable, uninhabitable terrain en route to that lush area. Regardless, the possibility of walking in the footsteps of Moses was somewhat overwhelming and was a truly magical moment.

Next up was the city of Madaba, where we (mercifully) only spent about 10 minutes checking out a single mosaic from the 6th century of Jerusalem. It was very cool, but there really wasn’t much going on in Madaba, and I’m glad we bounced quickly. It should be noted that we almost got rooked into a 10 JD (Jordanian Dinar – equal to the pound) buffet lunch, but a few of us struck out on our own and managed to find a kabob shop that spoke ZERO English but did speak hard currency. The reward was a 1 JD lunch that was SO GUUUUUUUD (semi-peppy cheekies – after all, it wasn’t that big).

Next up was a 2 hour drive to Kerak, an old Crusader castle established around 1100. This was REALLY cool, and I basically spent a solid hour drawing a fake sword, charging down stone stairs, and yelling, “Cry God! And King Richard!” No one seemed terribly impressed…least of all my wife. But hey – it was like being on the set of “Kingdom of Heaven” – which I actually haven’t seen, for the record.

We then had a 3.5 hour drive to Wadi Musa, where we checked into our hotel before dining at…wait for it…wait for it…MYSTIC PIZZA, BABY!!!! That’s right – Julia Roberts’ reach knows no bounds! It actually was a tasty pizza, but washing pizza down WITHOUT A BEER was a truly novel experience at this point in my life. Team Taylor promptly passed out, where we slept good until 4:30 AM, when Sting’s greatest hits kicked off again…

Wednesday: Petra – there are no words to describe this place…

Wednesday was, in a word – AMAZING. Seriously, so often you build a place up in your mind only to be disappointed or find it’s smaller than expected. To quote our guide Roland: “No matter what your expectation of Petra, it will NOT disappoint.” Truer words were never spoken.

The walk into Petra begins with a descent into the Siq al-Barrah (the canyon). This is AWESOME – it’s like something out of Indiana Jones meets the Utah desert – CRAZY formations along with sculptures and irrigation canals all side by side. A 1.2 KM walk brings you to one of the most iconic spots on earth – THE TREASURY, BABY!!!!! Guys, you all know this – it’s the entrance to the Canyon of the Crescent Moon in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade! Come on, say it with me: “Only the penitent man shall pass…only the penitent man shall pass…”

We had a 3 hour tour (a 3 hour tour) of Petra, and it was just AMAZING. We are talking about a city carved out of the SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN, filled with temples, cisterns, housing, tombs, monuments, amphitheaters, and colonnaded streets. INSANE! We spent ALL DAY in this place looking around, and how could I forget the best part - there were DONKEYS EVERYWHERE!!! Seriously, I even found Ray and Matt wandering around - check out this photo. :-) We even went BACK in that evening for “Petra by Night.” The evening was exciting in a different way, as you followed luminaries down to the Treasury (“Indy! You must hurry!” ; “Only the power of the Grail can save him now.”), where we were treated to mint tea and a concern of Bedouin instruments. And whilst the concert was, well, RANDOM AND SHORT, complete with some dude giving us a soliloquy at the end about instruments before kicking us out, it was WELL worth the 12 JD. We also got to see this BEAUTIFUL sunset - check out those colors!

After that, it was back to the hotel, which was HILARIOUS, by the way – no hot water, a trickle from the nozzle for a shower, and our shower curtain was actually TIED to the shower rod. However, we apparently got the “honeymoon suite,” as some folks didn’t have shower curtains at all and had a drain plug that REGURGITATED THE WATER back into the bathroom floor. And is now a good time to mention that you can’t put toilet paper in the toilet regardless of the activity – you put it in the trash can. Yeah….I’ll let your imagination run with that one for awhile. Resume reading when your stomach has settled.

Thursday: Little Petra and Petra

We started this day with a trip over to “Little Petra,” which is where the camel caravans were actually held and where most of the actual “day to day living” took place. Whilst small, this place well surpassed my expectations, as it was a FASCINATING glimpse into life 2500 years ago for the Nebateans. It was ALSO a fascinating glimpse into how much capitalism has poisoned society, as there was a bloody SOUVENIR SHOP IN EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY OF THIS PLACE. Seriously, one woman had set up a tea kettle and jewelry shop on a rock cliff – AMAZING!

After Little Petra, we were given the option of being dropped off “at the back door of Petra.” This sounded GREAT, as it meant we’d get to skip the 1.2 KM walk into the canyon. What we failed to realize, however, is that the “back door” is actually 3 KM from the site, meaning that we had to walk FARTHER in totally exposed space. Basically, we had donkeys walking passed us thinking “What the hell is wrong with those guys?” All the same, it made for a nice walk…all 50 minutes of it…

We spent the day visiting the rest of Petra, with the highlight being the 2 hour walk through a series of AWESOME tombs up to the High Place of Sacrifice. Once there we had an AMAZING view of the city, as well as the surrounding countryside (which was just STUNNING). Of course, there was that awkward moment where Laura the Soprano and Helen the Lobbyist burst into song, covering "On Top of the World" by the Carpenters (who were then later joined by Sally to form a white British version of the Supremes), but my therapist says I'll recovered from that nicely. We visited the Royal tombs, the Byzantine Church, and the remains of another Crusader fort, all of which were just AMAZING. Honestly, this day was one of the 2 highlights for me, and is honestly one of the most amazing travel days that I’ve ever had.

Dinner that night FINALLY broke the streak, as we found a place called the sandstone restaurant that served “soft” drinks and “hard” drinks. And what did they have – LOCAL BEER, BABY!!!! Grimshaw – not even Jordan can keep this guy down!!!! Consequently, Sam and Jenny each dropped $10 USD on a can of beer.

Let me just say that, whilst I’m glad I tried it, drinking beer brewed by cats who don’t actually DRINK beer does not make for a rewarding or refreshing experience. “Philadelphia Lager,” coming in at 5%, was kind of like drinking flat Miller Lite. Yeah…you heard me – give me the Silver Bullet any day over this stuff. Actually, you can even give me the Champagne of Beers – I’ll dance with the Lady in the Moon a hundred times before I try another one of these.

Team Taylor then passed out, another AMAZING 3 days in the books.

Okay, that’s enough for round 2 and certainly all the news that’s fit to print. Chat tomorrow!

Love,

Sam and Jenny

Jordan - Part 1...

Family,

And a good evening to you from across the Pond after another GREAT DAY in the Mother Country. Okay, as promised, it's time to kick off the recap of Jordan, a truly AMAZING country, complete with some CLASSIC Team Taylor moments. I'd also like to take a moment to welcome some potential first timers to the Adventures of Mr. and Mrs. Assignee 47 - my new Explore travel family! Welcome to the madness, guys - hope you enjoy and that I do the trip justice.

And so, let us begin (insert the song "Arabian Nights" playing in the background as the opening credits roll...):

Saturday: What do you mean by the word "oversold?"

So Saturday started with all the promise in the world - a 12:50 PM flight, a cheap taxi at the end, some dinner in Amman, and then some sleep. We maintained this merry bubble of fiction all the way until we arrived at the BMI check-in desk and tried to check in. Oddly enough, the computer noted us as: "Standby." Thinking this to be a computer glitch, I politely asked the BMI greeter for help. Her response (in some form of gypsy English) was "go to the counter - she will help." Thanks...thanks for that. So we go to the counter, and the conversation goes something like this:

BMI Lady (BMIL): "Hmmm...this flight is MASSIVELY overbooked, and you guys are pretty much the last ones to check in."

Confused Sammy (CS): (checking watch) "But it's still more than 2 hours before the flight departs."

BMIL: "Yep - this flight always fills up. There's no way you're getting on this flight."

CS: "But this is our confirmation. We are ticketed on this flight."

BMIL: "Tell you what I'll do. If you agree not to wait as a Standby passenger, I'll book you both on Royal Jordanian and give you 250 pounds for the wait."

CS: (skeptical) "Cash in hand?"

BMIL: "Yep - paid to you right now."

CS: (in shock) "And when's that flight?"

BMIL: "3 hours from now."

CS: (quietly, as though accepting defeat) "Well, okay. I guess we'll take it." (stomach does summersault with happiness)

So we walk over to the BMI counter, expecting our payment of 250 quid. What we hadn't realized, however, was that the offer was 250 quid PER SEAT! That's right - 500 STERLING TO WAIT 3 HOURS!!!!! When the guy at the counter said "so that's 500 quid, yeah?" Jenny and I both nodded and then held our breath (po-po-po-poker face, po-po-poker face...mamamama). However, the second we had the money, we both turned around and said "HOLY SHIT!!!!" Honestly, I'm still chuckling about this, as I think it was our greatest coup EVER.

The flight on Royal Jordanian was AWESOME, even if the movie selection was DONKEY TRASH. "Predators" was like drinking gasoline whilst chewing on razor blades. Yeah - it was THAT bad. Same for "Salt" with Angelina - the freeway scene with the trucks. Really? REALLY?

We arrived into Amman around 11:30 PM, and since the airport is basically in SYRIA we didn't get to our hotel until 1 AM. All good, however, as we promptly PASSED OUT, content with the 500 quid burning a hole in our pockets.

Sunday: Why the hell is Arab dude playing the bagpipes?

4:30 AM. That is a timestamp you need to get REAL familiar with in Jordan. Why? Because that's when the first Call to Prayer happens EVERY DAY. Now normally, this isn't a big deal. However, when the mosque's minaret is THIRTY FEET FROM YOUR WINDOW WITH A SPEAKER AIMED AT YOU, chances are you WILL wake up. And let me tell you, it was like hearing the opening to Sting's "Desert Rain" EVERY MORNING.

I did fall back to sleep, however, waking up around 9ish. We had brekkie in the hotel, at which time we met this CRAZY Mexican lady who was spending a week in Amman and then driving around the country. Seriously, she tapped on Jenny's shoulder during breakfast to ask if we knew driving directions to the Roman ruins of Jerash. I mean, looking at my redneck ass, WHAT PART OF YOU THINKS I WILL KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION? In retrospect, I should have just said - go to the 4th traffic circle and make your 3rd right - continue for an hour and you're there. However, as that might have sent her to Yemen, perhaps saying "Sorry, no clue" was the right approach.

We spent the day in Amman, taking in the 2 big sites: the amphitheater and the Citadel. The amphitheater was nice (and CHEAP!), and we spent probably 45 minutes there just chillin' (translation -after walking up those steps, we were too lazy to wander back down). We then walked across the streets (with no discernable traffic laws of any kind except kill or be killed) of downtown and started up Everest...I mean the hill to the Citadel, home to the ancient Roman acropolis and the 8th centure Umayad palace.

We were almost to the top when 4 guys, observing we were OBVIOUSLY tourists (can't imagine how), stopped us and pointed to this hidden staircase/shortcut toward the hill. There was a moment of "is this a practical joke" as I noticed that the staircase cut through people's houses and was heavily guarded on both sides by feral cats, but we figured why not. Sure enough, the staircase deposited us right along a break in the Citadel fence, meaning that we got into the site for free!!! Winner winner chicken dinner!

We walked around for a bit, admiring the ruins adn marveling at the sheer sprawl of Amman. Consisting of something like 2.5 million people, Amman is a vast city, without a level step of pavement ANYWHERE. It's also fairly devoid of color, as all buildings were either brown, beige, sandstone, or gray.

The highlight of the Citadel: Jenny and I are having a truly Jordanian moment - staring at the flag whipping in the breeze, the call to prayer dying out across the city, the cloudless blue sky warming us, and the history of this place all around us - when we suddenly hear bagpipes - yes, BAGPIPES - being played. We turn around, and sure enough, this Jordanian cat is WAILING on the bagpipes right by the old palace. It was like I was in Edinburgh for Tattoo or something. I gave the guy 50p, for the record - money VERY well spent.

After that Jenny and I snuk out through that same hole in the perimeter. We then spent the next 90 minutes LOST (J.J. Abrams style) as we tried to make sense of our TWO maps, neither of which had a)more than half of the streets listed or b) had even a quarter of the streets written in English. However, after an hour and a half of walking in the Himalayas, we FINALLY found our street, arriving at our hotel famished and desperate for hummus and mint tea. We then nibbled for bit before rolling to dinner, which was this AWESOME place that offered shwarma for less than 3 quid! BRING IT ON, BABY!!!!

We got back that night at 7 PM, which was the designated time to meet our local guide. However, when he hadn't arrvived by 7:20, I rang brother Ishmael up to see where he was. Again, the coversation:

Brother Ish (BI): "Hello, this is Ishmael."

Sammy the Bull (STB): "Ishmael, my name is Sam Taylor. I was told to meet you in the lobby to do our orientation for the Explore tour."

BI: "Ah, yes - we are not doing that now."

STB: "Okay - When are we doing it."

BI: "We are not doing it. People are late. So we cancel it."

STB: "Oh, okay - I guess there was a note at reception."

BI: "No - we just cancel."

STB: "GREAT! So what do I do tomorrow?"

BI: "Be ready at 11 AM tomorrow. They will explain everything.

That night we slept like a babies again, ready to get the tour cracking in earnest.

Monday: KILL HIM!!!!

So Monday started with another breakfast of falafel balls, harissa, hummus (you'll notice that it's a staple of EVERY meal), some juice, and pickled vegetables. Seriously - they pickle EVERYTHING here - radishes, onions, carrots - you name it. And it's all guuuuuuuuud.

We showed up at 11 and met a few members of our group tour. And just as I was thinking a) it's a small group and b) homeboy Ishmael is late YET AGAIN, the rest of the gang showed up, telling us that they'd been told the departure was 11:30. It should be noted that, at this point, I was LESS THAN IMPRESSED with the tour company. From this moment forward, however, they did NOT disappoint.

The featured activity of the day was the ancient Roman city of Jerash, one of the key cities of the Decapolis. Billing itself as "the world's best preserved Roman city" (which, incidentally, do about 28 other Roman cities - I think we need a Zagat rating on these puppies), this was a very neat spot, complete with an ancient hippodrome, lots of intact columns, some amazing temples, and a couple of very neat entranceways. However, all of this PALED in comparison to the featured activity - the Gladiator and Chariot show (insert Helen saying "Yes, the cheese began here...").

So here's the deal - we arrived at this place, at which point they sat us down for lunch. As Puffin and I'd just eaten a scant 45 minutes before, we passed on the food, angling instead for a trip to the Gladiator show (coming highly recommended by both Yazz and some random Kiwi couple we'd met the night before). Once we met up with our tour guide and the rest of our group (they'd just arrived from Syria), quite a few of us made the 5 minute walk over to the Hippodrome for a spectacle more thrilling than Russell Crowe with no shirt on, Ben-Hur's chariot race, and GM's recent IPO all put together! Hail, Caesar! We who are about to die, salute you!

So the show was, well, CHEESE BALL 5000. Seriously, you've got dudes who look like they've been hitting the sauce for hours (but since you can't FIND booze in Jordan, they were probably loaded on mint tea) staggering around in formation. If the Persian army had met these guys at Thermopylae, "300" would have been a pretty short movie. The information was good. The acting was like something off "Who's line is it, anyway?"

We then moved onto the Gladiators, where the audience was always given the choice of letting each Gladiator live or die. I of course voted for death EVERY TIME, but I went 1 for 4, when they "killed" the last fallen Gladiator (these special effects were on par with Twilight - where's Edward when you need him?). Lastly came the chariot race, where we watched 3 poor emaciated horses kick up enough dust to block the sun for about 6 weeks. My poor clothes - they'll never be the same ever again. All the same - very glad we did it.

The next 2 hours were GREAT, as our guide Mohammed gave us a great tour of Jerash, including a visit to the amphitheater which featured what I was now taking to be a staple in this country - an Arab dude rockin' the bagpipes! I just wanted to put my Kilt on, paint my face, and go sack York.

After the trip, it was back to the Toledo Hotel, where we had our proper introductions, got our safety briefing, and then went out with some of the folks for dinner (same place as the night before - you can't argue with cheap!). However, as is often the problem with Sammy and cheap food, the Bull ordered TWO ENTREES, killing them both and then sitting at the table in utter misery for the next half hour. Mom - it wasn't Peddler style, but it was definitely a clinic. :-)

Okay, I think that's enough for round 1. 2 more parts to Jordan will follow.

And last but definitely not least - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY ARCH NEMESIS!!! That's right, folks, Dinger turned the big Larry Bird today. Welcome to the club, brother!!! But seriously - I'm still gonna break you.

Okay, that's all the news that's fit to print. Chat tomorrow!

Love,

Sam and Jenny

Cymru am Byth!!!!

Family,

And a good evening to you from across the Pond after another GREAT DAY in the Mother Country. So first off, let me apologize again for the absence from cyberspace of Team Taylor. Whilst most of you have been very understanding, there are some donkeys who shall forever remain nameless (RAY TAVARES) who have been rather critical of my absence. Regardless of which camp you fall into, I hope to make amends to you all going forward, with the caveat being that, since we have only 10 days until we leave the UK for good, you can expect some lengthy (and perhaps rather helter skelter) blogs coming up in the next week.

First and foremost, it should be noted that it is BLOODY FREEZING here!!!! I mean, I don’t want to give too much of my Jordan post away, but when we left Amman on Monday morning, it was 85 DEGREES. When we got on the plan, the pilot told us, “Weather in London isn’t bad – it’s just above freezing with a stiff wind that makes it feel a bit chilly.” Really? The STIFF WIND is what makes it less than comfortable? How about the fact that ICE ISN’T MELTING ON THE SIDEWALKS as a sign that you shouldn’t be outside. One thing I will definitely miss – the British gift for understatement.

Seriously, it snowed ALL DAY today, so much so that Jenny was stuck ON A TRAIN TEN FEET FROM THE PLATFORM FOR 2 HOURS. She was about 30 feet from sanctuary when the train stopped and was held due to the associated the weather wreaked upon the rail lines of London. Needless to say, a) she was NOT happy and b) a bottle of Chianti was opened to alleviate my poor perfect pumpkin’s pain. I tried to take photos of the snow, but as it was too warm in the Wharf for anything to stick, the photos look like I was just some dude with a dirty camera lens doing an expose on random British urban architecture. Where Muffin Puffin was, however (sunny Croydon!), it was a WINTER WONDERLAND. We’re giving JT the camera tomorrow, as it’s not supposed to get back above freezing for the NEXT TEN DAYS!!! SERENITY NOW!!!!!

In the Land’s End challenge today, Sammy the Bull logged another 5K, taking him to 638.75 of 970 kilometers completed. And whilst I plan to continue the good fight to get from John O’Groat’s to Land’s End, I will have to continue it outside of the UK, as today was officially MY LAST DAY IN THE GYM. That’s right, sports fans, today was the last run on the treadmill, as my membership officially expired as of 7 PM. After 16 months of loyal membership, it felt really weird to walk out the final time, saying goodbye to Ryan (trainer there) en route. I realize that this is just the first of many odd goodbyes and hurried final moments, none of which make the next one any easier or less awkward. Plus I’m sure my spare tire was doubly disappointed, as it knows the month in front of it, all of it most likely without a SECOND of exercise. BRING ON THE CALORIES, BABY!!!!

The evening was good as well, as I met up with the Bristol Pistol for a pair of pints at the Music Factory prior to heading home. Once back at the flat, it was wine and salad, both of which went down guuuuuuud (especially when washed down with Red Leicester cheese, something I haven’t had in A WEEK AND A HALF!!!!!). HEEEEELLLLLOOOOOOOO peppy cheekies!!!! Honestly, it really is amazing how quick you can trim down when your daily diet doesn’t consist of a block of cheese, 4 pints, Rocky Mountain Chocolate (thanks for that, T-bone), and a bag of Chili Heatwave Doritos. But hey, it’s cold in the UK – I need some insulation!!!

But enough of the day’s activities – let’s begin the catch-up blogs. We’ll start with Friday, 19 December – a day of Welsh delights, good food, and a long awaited meeting of some very wonderful people.

19 November: Bring on the rarebit, baby!

So Friday was a great day in the office, complete with a lunch run to Byron, where I ate 57 times my body weight in medium rare beef, mac n’ cheese, and skin on fries, all washed down with some A & W root beer (at 1.50, who can argue?). The work day carried through until about 5:45, at which point Brother Morgan and I shuffled off to cross off one of the most awaited moments of our year and a half in the UK: FINALLY MEETING MABS AND REBECCA!!!!!

So a little back story – you’ve obviously seen the Welshman on numerous occasions, but his wife (the elusive Mabinthy) and his daughter (the mysterious Rebecca) are two folks that I have never met in ALL MY TIME IN THE UK. On this night, however, we FINALLY rectified this grievous injustice.

Owain and family live in this GREAT townhouse in Richmond, near where Lovely Lynda and Barry the future professional artist call home. They recently purchased their place, and it is really cool. This was the featured destination of the evening, with the featured activity (aside from meeting the family, of course) being the Wales vs. Fiji Fall International Rugby Match. Cymru am Byth!!! That would be “Wales, forever!” for those of you like me who don’t happen to speak Welsh.

Upon entering, we heard the shuffling upstairs. And 10 seconds later, who was I staring at? Why, “Owain’s girls,” of course! I gotta tell you – they don’t come much cuter than Rebecca, and they CERTAINLY don’t come better behaved. WOW. Mom, after hearing the horror stories about me and then seeing this child in action, all I can’t say is MAN AM I SORRY. But if it’s any consolation, look how cute I’ve become (flannel plaid and all...). And I would simply be remiss if I didn't showcase my muffin puffin demonstrating her maternal skills. Hey future grandparents - don't get any ideas...

The rugby match ended in a draw 16-16, but the highlights of the night certainly weren’t on the pitch (but watching Owain and Rebecca sing the Welsh National Anthem was pretty darn cute). Case in point - check out Brother Morgan making Welsh rarebit – Gordon Ramsay eat your heart out. Oh, and did I mention the Ragu (traditional Italian dish – Mabs is from Rome) from the missus? It was WICKED AWESOME (I had 3 helpings). Throw in some dessert, some new beers (St. Peters, SA Gold, and Hooky’s Bitter – all SUPER GOOD), and you have a recipe for a GREAT night.

We missed the last train home but luckily caught a cab right outside the station. As the cost was only around 10 quid more and we were dropped right at our doorstep, we couldn’t complain at all. Plus this cabbie was a CHARACTER, which made the time pass even quicker. All in all – a FABULOUS night.

Okay, so I realize that I haven’t even STARTED Jordan, but fret not – it will be published before I leave for Singapore next week. As I said, you can expect the next 10 days to be rather haphazard, but I am GUARANTEEING a post every night (insert Tom Price rolling his eyes here – I just wonder if it’s at the same time he’s shaving his legs) until we board that plane.

Okay, that’s all the news that’s fit to print. Chat tomorrow!

Love,

Sam and Jenny