A whirlwind tour and new sights for the Taylors...

Family,

And a good morning to you from across the Pond. Yesterday was a GREAT day - talk about so much fun! We started off with coffee at the house, and VA, JT, and I then walked out the door to blue skies with the intention of wandering through London's parks. 4 minutes later (literally), we had a CATEGORY 5 HURRICANE blasting us with the hardest wind and rain I've seen since we got here. Consequently, we changed course and went for the staple of the Taylor tour of the Smoke: The British Museum. 60 minutes, door-to-door - ladies and gentlemen, at this point I am a model of efficiency...

After that, we rolled down to Borough Market, where we had the best run there EVER! I ate myself almost into a coma, beginning with a massive Bratwurst (Shogun - I did ask for it in German, for the record, only to find that the gal didn't speak German - NICE). The Bratwurst vanished quick, just in time for us to go through the normal run of samples. Then we picked up some jamon (grass fed - I can't afford the acorn fed stuff!).

The highlight came when we FINALLY GOT OUR CHORIZO ROLL! JT and I opted for a double roll, and we ate like kings. VA got a single roll, but then she rallied to also pick up an ostrich burger, which JT and I proudly assisted with. Add in a box of olives stuffed with peppers and garlic cloves, and you've got some WELL FED people.

However, we didn't stop there! On the walk out, we split a bottle of Pinotage (Mans Vinters - Puma, you remain correct - there's no such thing as a bad pinotage), finishing our olives at a place called the Wine Wharf.

Then muffin puffin bounced off to pick up Catherine, and VA and I headed to the infamous Tate Modern, this INSANE Modern Art Museum. The purpose? To find THE WORST piece of art I'd ever seen - "Double No."

Unfortunately, the donkey trash that was "Double No" was gone, and the exhibits had (I must confess) radically improved. However, there were still the following highlights:

1. A silent movie of a totally nude dude (twig, giggleberries, and all), a woman (same way - in the buff), and a workout ball on a couch. All they did was keep changing places. I have no words.

2. A box of vaccuum cleaners in plastic, supposedly explaining the mystery of "perpetual newness." What a lazy bastard...please tell me he didn't get paid for that...

3. A dude who painted only with blood and razor blades (including his most famous piece, called MENSTRUATIONS. Really? REALLY?

4. A movie of a woman being covered in eggs, blood, and razor blades, whilst another guy is above her covered in mud whilst a woman is below him blowing up a balloon just beneath his bare ass. When I saw it, all I could think of was "this is straight out of the mind of Hannibal Lecter." I might never recover...

After that, we walked to Piccadilly Circus, where we met Lady Catherine and Muffin Puffin for drinks at the Glass Blower (Ray - same place we first drank with the Tavares clan).

We then moved over to some other unnamed pub, where VA finally tried Timothy Taylor Landlord Ale (she got the last pint in the cask, for the record - I settled for Hop a Doodle Doo by Brewster's).

After that, we rolled home, where it was 11:30 and the troops were hungry. Lucky for us, we had 10 pounds of leftover paella, plenty of jamon, and two kinds of cheese (caerphilly (Welsh) and goat's cheese (French) with herbs and spices) to keep us occupied. Mix in some more beer and the rest of the Amarula (Grimshaw - it was a huge hit with Lady Catherine), and you have a GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD (but LATE! try 2 AM) night.

Now we're rallying for a full English Breakfast, so it's time to shower and get my game face on! And that game face would be...you guessed it Price - CHUUUUUUUUUUUUBBBBBBYYYYYYYY BUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

That's all the news that's fit to print. Chat soon!

Love,

Sam and Jenny