Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Can you stand the heat - women's World Championship Netball action...

And a good evening to you from across the globe after another GREAT DAY in the Lion City. So I have no lie to tell, it's been one hell of a day across the board for Team Taylor. For starters, the Bull and Striker (OSC, MattPa - that could be another spinoff pub name - BOOK IT) saw a first today in the Lion City - A DRUNK SINGAPOREAN. Seriously, it's easier to see unicorns and dancing polar bears in Singapore than to see drunk people of ANY nationality, but to see an ASIAN who's had one (or in this guy's case - FORTY) too many is a true rarity. It's funny, because we saw all this at SIX FIFTEEN IN THE MORNING whilst walking to the gym. 2 teenagers were trying to pick up their friend, who was OBLITERATED. The cabbie got bored of waiting, so he drove to the couple ten feet away (the teenages tried to run after the cabbie but none of them could move). The next couple is about to get in when the girl DECKS THE DUDE and pushes him away, at which point the cabbie says @#$# it and just drives off - it was great. So the tally after 28 weeks in SG:
Cockroaches - 4
Rats - 2
Drunken Teenages - 1
Prostitutes - 8,794 (but they are all clean...just like the Sing)
The workout was good, as Jenny did Body Attack and I hit the bike. I honestly contemplated rockin' the class with her, but after watching 30 seconds of their clapping and the instructor singing, I pretty much decided that I'd rather KILL MYSELF than participate in that foolishness.
But then, fresh off a nice shower and ready to face the day, Sammy's day darkened when, accidentally, he knocked his Kindle out of the locker. It landed on its side, at which point there was a rather sickening "CRUNCH," and I knew it was over. Sure enough, my screen now looks like an etch-a-sketch that's been hit by a meteor. So now the question - buy another one, or switch to the i-Pad. I know where Hitman and Wildcard are - others?
The work day was pretty rough, as I had to deal with some REAL DONKEYS. But hey, if it were easy, everyone would do it, right? Plus we did get some stuff done and make good progress across the board, so on the whole I can't really complain. Plus I left right at 5, as I had a featured event to get to - the 2011 Women's Netball World Championships (that's right, I just said NETBALL).
So here's the deal - Muffin and I have never been to a world championship of ANYTHING, so when I saw this, I was keen to give it a dance. Tickets were general admission and only $10 for ALL DAY, so we picked up a pair and headed over. I got there for the 5:45 PM match where Singapore played Jamaica (and got PUMMELED 93-40). It was a lot of fun, and it was cool that the players actually hung around and watched other games. There were 2 courts side by side, and at 8 PM there were 2 matches - Australia (the world #1 and defending champs) vs. Sri Lanka (they looked like they'd never seen a ball before) and Botswana vs. South Africa. We were in the Botswana section, and I gotta tell ya - it was AWESOME. Those cats sang and danced the whole time like it was the World Cup. And when "Waka, Waka" came on, it was like being in the Shakira video - good times. No, GREAT times actually.
There were some painful moments - take the halftime "entertainment" for example. The sponsor was Mission Foods, who apparently promote "a company with a mission serving food with a taste" (out of curiosity, don't MOST foods have a taste? I mean Durian has a taste - doesn't make me want to eat it. Just sayin'...). Well, for halftime, the announcer brings out a bag of groceries, and the contestants have to guess the total cost of what's in the bag. Here's pretty much what he said (my thoughts in parenthesis):
"Ah, so this is an AMAZING price to play for. Look at this bag of goodies. What do we have in here? Wraps! That's right - you can make wraps (seriously, dude - it's a packet of 20 tortillas that Moe's diner buys for 40 cents a pack - we're not talking caviar). And trust me - I've tried them and they are SO guuuuuuuuud. In fact, all the foods being served here are from Mission foods. They are delicious! (really - cause I had a "satay stick of nuggets" that absolutely SUCKED. Wendy's would kick your ASS every day of the week and twice on Sunday.) And what else is in the pack? Ahhhh! I don't believe it - it's ANOTHER pack of wraps! But wait, there's....ANOTHER packet of wraps. This is unbelieveable. Oh, and wait - here's a FOURTH PACKET (I just wanted to crawl into a hole and DIE at this point - no one should have to suffer through this...or try to act like they're offering a Maseratti). Oh, but then there's something else (was the dramatic reach into the bag really necessary?) - TACO SHELLS!!!!! And wait, ANOTHER box of taco shells! You can make TACOS! (yep, yo quiero Taco Bell - and I'd GO THERE vs. making them in the 8 cent shells you're peddling). Okay, that's it! (WAIT, THAT'S IT? THAT is your big prize? Mother of Mercy I don't speak Japanese!)
Also, I had to participate in a 10 minute survey, during which time a Singaporean teenager who spoke at 3.5 decibels asked me EVERY QUESTION ABOUT NETBALL that you could EVER think of, such as "who was a cheering for, what did I think of the format, what's my favorite local Singapore netball team, who should have made the tournament but didn't", yadda, yadda, yadda.
Lastly - THE MASCOT. The featured mascot was "Netalia," billed as "a young and robust fan of netball who's a young, outgoing, and vigorous member of the Merlion Club." I mean, what the hell does that even mean? When I was 12 I was a "curly haired, Skidz wearing, pimpled, gold chain havin' redneck and member of the Russellville mafia" - I would have eaten "Netalia" for breakfast. Good thing she was 11,000 miles away.
On the whole it was a really neat experience. We had great seats, and it was fun to watch. However, CATHERINE CAY - I must confess that these rules made NO SENSE WHATSOEVER to me. I mean, what's with the whole "I didn't touch you but that's a foul and so I'm going to let you shoot but then try to block your shot and when you make it you get to throw the ball back to your tiniest player who'll stand in the circle and pass the ball and then the whistle will blow even though no one's been touched" thing? I was really lost, but I did at least understand the part about getting the ball through the hoop. For all you Americans - this sport is a cross between water polo, ultimate frisbee, and basketball - that's the only way to describe it.
Okay, that's all the news that's fit to print. Chat tomorrow!
Sam and Jenny

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