Sunday, 26 September 2010

Visiting Britain's thrill capital - Thorpe Park...


And a good evening to you from across the Pond after another GREAT DAY in the Mother Country. First off, I should warn you - I am sitting here typing this whilst feeling as though I've been shot out of a canon, attacked by a serial killer, pummeled by a polar bear, and hurdled into orbit without a spacesuit. Why, dare you ask, is my head still spinning as though I was born without equilibrium? Well, because today Team Taylor rolled with the Australian Invasion up to Britain's Premier Amusement Park and Thrill Capital - THORPE PARK, BABY!!!!
So back story here - up until a month ago, we didn't know that this place existed. At dinner one weekend, Yazz and Sam (that's right - Sam Stone, the Jason Bourne of London) mentioned a 50% off deal at this place until 7 October. After having looked at the rides, it sounded good to us, and so we put a date in the calendar.
The day started great - we were up early (7:15), but the ride to Waterloo was smooth, at which point Team Taylor did the unthinkable - ORDERED McDONALD'S FOR THE SECOND TIME IN A WEEK!!!! That's right - the Starbucks coffee wasn't enough -we also needed a) a Sausage, egg, and cheese McMuffin for, well, for Muffin Puffin, and b) TWO bacon, egg, and cheese bagels for Sammy. Chhhhhuuuuuuubby buuuuuuuunny!!!!! But, in my defense, they were both SO GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD (cheekies = peppy).
The ride to the park was easy, but the funniest part was the station where you get off. What city, pray tell, houses Britain's thrill capital? STAINES. That's right - STAINES. And best of all, when you got off, there was a food stall called "Staines Munch." Really? REALLY? I mean, it would have been funnier had it been Skidz munch, but that was all that could have possibly topped it (and besides - I miss Skidz from back in Morristown - I could sure go for one of those pizzas whilst playing Rygar right about now...).
Anyhoo, we were in line before 10 and got into the park about 10:15. We had been warned that the lines were crazy, but honestly, given the time of year, I didn't believe it. BIG MISTAKE, as the lines were MENTAL.
We rode the colossus first (the only ride on earth with a quadruple corkscrew), and it was very cool. After that, we tried to find a shorter line, only to see hour waits all OVER the place. The exception, however, was the "SAW Live Action Horror Maze." Consequently, 15 minutes later we were standing in a queue wrapped in fake razor wire, my hands on some dude shoulders (MANDATED - for the record), walking into a pitch black room filled with nothing but screaming. And whilst it was freaky, it was NOTHING compared to a) Scarowinds or b) the mullets that you see at Scarowinds.
And speaking of good people watching - HOLY MOLY!!!! Let's just say that the MUTANTS came out to play today, and the humans we encountered were OF EPIC PROPORTIONS. I have now seen more nasty make-out sessions, more blush, and more bra straps that double as tube tops than I EVER want to see again in my LIFE. Particularly frightening was this chain smoker wearing elastic shorts and a flower in her hair who sported AT LEAST A POUND OF BLUSH on both sides of her face - WOW.
The highlights of the day were a) Saw - the Ride (which was CRAZY - there was a drop that was MORE than straight down - WICKED) and b) the Stealth - a ride that starts off by going from 0-80 mph in less than 2 seconds and hits 4.86 G's - it was INTENSE.
The queues were a bit crazy, and we only got in 6 rides in 7 hours. That being said, we had an absolute BLAST (even if Yazz and Sam had to return their ice cold chicken sandwiches only to find out that the gal making them NEVER TURNED ON THE STOVE TO HEAT THEM) - hellllooooooooooo salmonella (Price - it was pretty much the scariest moment of my life).
We had Sunday dinner at - where else - THE DOOT, BABY!!!!! I mean, let's face it - we were the picture of health today: Mickey D's, fries in the park, and enough Indian to kill a small horse. I KNOW what healthy is...
And now we're back at home before 9, where Muffin Puffin has just stepped out of the shower and I'm about to hit the sack. It was a BLAST today, but we have realized that we're not kids anymore, and roller coasters are a bit rougher on us than they used to be (especially in the wind and rain). Does this mean we're getting old?
Yazz and Sam - the countdown is on! 5 days until Carlsbergville!!!! Can't wait!!!!
Okay, that's all the news that's fit to print. I'll wrap Budapest when we chat tomorrow. For now, I must rest before week 2 of the Land's End Challenge!
Sam and Jenny

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