Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Another day of classic office faux paus for Sammy the Bull...


And a good evening to you from across the globe after another GREAT DAY in the Lion City.  2 blogs in a day - how's that for express service!  With Muffin Puffin having time to blog during the day and Husband Bear coming online in the evening, you are gonna get full service treatment for the next couple of days.  Granted, we'll hit a wall for a bit after that, but hey - details...

The Bull got up at 6:30 today, logging 5 miles at a 7:44 pace.  I felt like I struggled a bit in places, but I have no lie to tell - it was INSANELY hot.  I almost had the "heat headache" when it was over, but some "Pokey Sweat" (the Japanese Iso drink) and water helped to set me right.

So 2 classic moments to relate today.  The first was in the elevator at work, where the Bull piled in (as usual) with 10 of his closest Asian friends.  We're going up, and someone notices a red ant on the fella's shoulder beside me.  They knock the ant off his shoulder, and I think that's the end of it, until suddently everyone (save me, of course) shuffles away from the corner of the lift.  Seriously - it's like a scene from "Devil" - everyone is afraid what's lurking in the elevator.  I calmly ask what's wrong, at which point I'm told "It's a red ant - if they bite you, you'll swell up and have this very painful lump on your body."  Exciting stuff, but I still had to ask:  "Why, exactly are we all staring at the ant that's roughly a fortieth the size of a fingernail?"

People continue to get off the elevator as we rise (they sprint off it, in fact, clearly fearing for their lives at the hands of this mutant pygmy dinosaur), and finally, when we get to the 6th floor, everyone gets out but me.  As the Indian fella who originally knocked off and quarantined the ant steps out, I say, "We shouldn't just leave that ant in the elevator.  He might bite the next group of folks who walk in."  The Indian dude (who's TERRIFIED) just looks at me and offers a fake smile.  I then say "I'll take care of it," clearly miffed as to why he didn't crush the bastard to begin with.  I then proceed to make a grand show of raising my leg and smashing the little joker into dust, at which point I say, "There, now that's done.  We should have done that when we first saw him."  The Indian dude, CLEARLY uncomfortable, says, "But I could not."  And when (like a total dumbass not putting 2 and 2 together) I ask why, he calmly says, "It is against my religion to kill any living thing."  GREEEEEEEEAT - so basically, I now have a dude on the floor that thinks I just squashed his great uncle or something - good start to the day.  But wait - theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's more!

So as an aside, the mid-Autumn festival is currently taking place in Singapore, the biggest feature of which are lanterns and moon cakes.  You see, moon cakes are a delicacy served only this time of year, and it's customary for folks to bring in TONS of them in the office (1,000 calories apiece, for the record, and we're talking like 4 bites) and walk around offering them to colleagues.  As usual, the Bull's cheap ass did NOT buy any, but I was offered them by several folks, including Nancy.

She walks over and shows me the moon cake box, at which point I notice it shows Raffles on the box.  I'd seen the price of these ($7 a cake!) earlier this month with Yazz, and I couldn't BELIEVE that someone had picked those up.  And so, it was without thinking and having too many thoughts going through my head at the same time that I said, "I can't BELIEVE someone paid that much for 8 moon cups."  THAT'S RIGHT - I SAID MOON CUPS IN THE OFFICE, BABY.  And on top of that, who did Jenny and I see tonight whilst drinking at Brewerkz with Emma?  OPINIONATED DIVE GIRL, BABY!!!!  Sarah, that's right - she is just as MEGA HIPPIE as she was when you guys met and she offered to show you the true and righteous path...ick....

Okay, that's all the news that's fit to print.  Chat tomorrow!


Sam and Jenny

No comments:

Post a Comment