Wednesday, 7 December 2011

No lie to tell, I need an interval between Thailand recaps...

Team Taylor Deportation/Repatriation Countdown

Days left in Singapore: 16

Days left until arrival in the Queen City: 23

And a good evening to you from across the globe after another GREAT DAY in the Lion City.  Now I know that the Bull still owes you a recap of Railay (which will probably by an act in 3 to 4 parts), but simply put - it's 11:30, and I just don't have the energy tonight.  I promise you that I will get caught up before we shuffle off (in SIXTEEN DAYS!!!), and my goal is to be back to even by the time Muffin Puffin returns.  However, for now, I'll just ask your your patience.  And besides, the Bull needs this evening to sound off a bit.

I hit the bike for 30KM today, spending about 50 minutes going hard and then another 10 on the cool down.  I started Michael Palin's "Pole to Pole" (his sequel to "80 days"), and so far I'm quite enjoying it.  It's a journal of his travel down 30 degrees east longitude from North to South, and there have been more than one hilarious moments.

But speaking of biking, the gym, and HILARIOUS - here's my newest observation of working out in Singapore.  I was on the bike today for an hour - not an ocean of time, but a good clip.  People came and went throughout that hour, but the longest anyone rode whilst I was there?  FIFTEEN MINUTES.  And we're not talking about a Lance Armstrong time trial for 15 minutes, we are taking about people doing the following:

1.  Texting - CONSTANTLY.  Seriously, I looked around at one point and realized that I was the ONLY PERSON on the 10 bikes who was NOT texting.  And the best part?  They can all type and pedal at the same time, but they can't READ AND PEDAL at the same time.  No, no - when the message comes back.  They stop, contemplate life, stretch, breathe a bit, and then slowly start back up.

2.  DRUMMING THEMSELVES AS IF THEIR BODIES WERE XYLOPHONES.  Multiple folks did this, but one cat was giving his quads hell as if he were the one-armed drummer from Def Leppard.  He also had a good 3 minutes (about 4 minutes into the workout) where he stopped pedaling entirely, put his head on the headrest, closed his eyes, and went comatose. 

3.  30 second slow spin, 3 minute rest.  Rinse, repeat.

I was so fascinated that I could barely focus on the book.  Throw in ten minutes stretching outside by the pool (and all the sleeping people, of course), during which time the eight people in the pool did a collective FOUR LENGTHS.  Seriously, one guy was all gussied up in his pink cap and Speedo goggles, but that 17 meter (yes, 1/2 Olympic) sojourn to the other end almost killed him every single time.  But at least he made it, some of the others went halfway and then just walked to the side to sip their green tea.

Now I know that I should quit griping about all this, but I think that, as the countdown nears its conclusion and thoughts of family, Fat Tire, and Bravehearts invade my consciousness, I'm having a hard time dealing with things I find even mildly annoying.  Case in point #2 - LACK OF SPACIAL AWARENESS. 

Now look, we've all been there.  You're walking along, moving with the flow of traffic, and then suddenly you remember something or get a phone call and you just stop.  Maybe somebody crashes into you, maybe you just disrupt the flow of traffic.  I get that.  I am FINE with that.  BUT DO NOT WALK TO THE ESCALATOR WHILST TEXTING AND THEN JUST STOP RIGHT BEFORE YOU GET ON TO READ THE TEXT.  Seriously - it's an ESCALATOR.  You won't even notice you're moving toward outer space.  You'll be able to read the message as though you're still standing, only you won't get run over by a crazy Ang Mo.

My last observation (see, normally Jenny gets to listen to all these rants and they get filtered before they ever hit cyberspace.  However, with Muffin Puffin on the subcontinent, inconsistencies in the latest iteration of the fractal curve have begin to the book) happened on the metro today.  So here's the deal, I work at the end of a metro line.  There are two platforms, but they both terminate in our station, meaning that whichever one you get on, you can only go one way.  Well, normally you board the train at Platform A.  Today, however, the lady got on the PA and said, "Please go to Platform B."  So we all move over in an orderly fashion, get into the train carriage as it arrives, and all is well.  But then this one dude gets one, CLEARLY thrown off by this late breaking adjustment.  He hits a stranger on the shoulder about 6 times, and the guy looks at him as though he's from Mars (no touchy, touchy under ANY circumstances on the MRT).  I pause my i-Pod, because I definitely want to hear this.

Confused Dude (CD):  "Does this train go to Punggol?"

Not Happy Being Hit Dude (NHBHD):  "Yes."

CD:  "But the train at platform A goes to Punggol.  This can't go there."

NHBHD:  "We're at the end of the line.  They go to the same place.  There is nowhere else to go."

CD:  "How do I know you're right?"  (this question seems perfectly reasonable to him)

NHBHD:    "Do you see that map on the wall?  That shows you where we are and where we are going."

CD:  "That map shows the train from platform A."

NHBHD:  (now determined to prove a point) "That maps shows STATIONS.  We are at this station (pointing), and there is nowhere to go but THAT station (points to the other end of the line.  I mean, let's face it - this isn't rocket science).

CD waits for about 30 seconds, then picks up his bag.

CD:  "I think you're wrong.  I'm going to wait over there on Platform A."

But then it gets interesting, as NHBHD won't let him leave the carriage.

NHBHD:  "This train is going to Punggol.  You.  Stay.  HERE."

CD looks distraught.  Doors close.  Train says, "Next station, Outram Park."

CD:  "Ah, good.  This train is going toward Punggol." 


The only other shocking bit of news is that I ATE A SALAD FOR LUNCH TODAY (one without meat, no less).  That makes 4 straight days of exercise, 4 straight AFD's, and even a day without meat (for lunch at least - don't get any ideas, Tullett).  I'm trying to lose 75 more pounds between now and Hong Kong, as I fully expect to eat 58 times my body weight whilst there.

Lastly (and more important) - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR GOD-DAUGHTER SAM RICE!!!!!!  We love you and can't wait to see you and meet your little brother!!!  Make sure mommy and daddy spoil you rotten on your special day.  :-)

So I know that was a bit random, but it was damn near the most cathartic experience I've had in WEEKS, so thank you for being such patient and attentive listeners. :-)  There are some final Singapore to-do's planned for the next few days, and we'll try and mix some Railay in there as well to get that off the docket (and off my worry list).

Okay, that's all the news that's fit to print.  Chat tomorrow!


Sam and (now in Jaipur, checking out the Palace of the Wind and the 58,000 monkeys that roam the electric and telephone wires of that city) Jenny (and Cath)

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