Thursday, 25 August 2011

The slow corruption of the Queen's English begins...

And a good evening to you from across the globe after another GREAT DAY in the Lion City. So first off - there will be NO BLOG until Monday evening. Why, you ask? Well, because Sammy the Bull cannot stand being away from his perfect pumpkin for one second longer and is therefore headin' to BANGKOK, BABY!!!!! Oh yeah - good times, they are a comin'...
Secondly, apologies for no blog last night. However, as I'll soon explain, writing was NOT the highest item on my priority list when I (FINALLY) arrived back home last night.
Third - I am proud to report that my quest to "make the world speak Tennessean" continues to go swimmingly well. The first true victory was when I first saw Evelyn type "Winner Winner Chicken Dinner," and the second was when Adeline informed me that she "rocked the party that rocked the pinata. The third (and largest) victory to date, however, came yesterday in the form of Ms. Emma Tullett.
As you all know, I do tend to spout lots of nonsense during the work day ("you're fired," "I'll burn your house down," "I have absolutely zero sympathy of any kind for that person," "Shoot me in the face with an elephant gun," etc - you get the picture). Well, Emma refers to my daily ramblings (so 97% of what comes out of my mouth) as "naff nonsensical Taylorisms," and I can hear real fear in her voice that, if she doesn't switch cubes soon, she'll start using some of them. I confirmed this yesterday when she looked at me and said, "Sam, I just want you to know how concerned I am that, when someone asks for something I don't have, I'm going to say Negative, Ghost Rider. And I don't even know what that means!" OSC - tell me that you aren't proud. And when I got Squire McGuire in on the act as well, it was just priceless.
Today Emma learned "madder than a wet hornet" and "that's pretty much a dead stick." She hasn't used those in conversation yet, but it's only a matter of time...
The evening (and the reason there was no blog) began at Brotzeit, where Julie, a colleague, Emma, and myself knocked back a few and had a meal. The conversations were HILARIOUS, but even more impressive was the negotiation that went down. As we've said earlier, Julie is clearly "the negotiator." Her pal Adrian, however, is henceforth known as "The Hostage Taker." Seriously - this guy was A FORCE OF NATURE.
Here's how it went down. We are sitting at a table, and they ask us to move to another table to let folks take our spot to eat. Adrian drops the "do we get free shots?" And when four shots of chilled Jaeger came out ($30 a pop - we got 'em free), I was impressed. When he managed this a second time, I was amazed. But when the bill came and he pulled the whole, "Are you kidding me? No discount? These are my friends who've traveled all the way here from the states and you embarass me like this? GET THE MANAGER!" thing, I about wet my pants. 3 more conversations ensue (Brother Ish - it was like the Puma at Al-Qureshi that night in Chester), at which point the manager threatens to call the police. Then there's the 4th, at which point they actually DO knock off a beer, offer a discount, and give us ANOTHER round of shots. I was truly blown away - I am SUCH a rookie in the art of wheeling and dealing.
But then Adrian says, "So, gotta go to Raffles, right?" It's 10:30. I'm exhausted. I have an 8:30 AM meeting to run. And I'm stuffed. But I also have NO willpower, and 5 minutes later I'm in a cab bound for Asia's most famous hotel. We knock back a quick sling whilst listening to the band's last set, and then we spend the next 45 minutes talking Rugby with some Kiwi and Aussie blokes (I held my own very well, for the record).
It was then home about 1:30, bed at 2, and up at 7 to get into the office. Can you say sleep like a baby? Because THIS GUY can. But no rest for the weary, as this evening saw me downstairs with Money, Dan, and Carla at Wine Connection! Mum - fret not - I took it VERY easy and just had a glass. After all, the Bull's still gotta pack AND has a 5:30 AM wake-up call tomorrow, as he's going for an 11.5 mile run before work (yes - OUCH).
Okay, that's all the news that's fit to print. Chat tomorrow!
Sam and (just reunited with her sister after 7 months and probably celebrating with a Chang) Jenny

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