And finally - the third installment of the trip...

Family,

And a good evening to you from across the Pond after another fantastic day in the Mother Country. Okay – time to wrap up the trip with Round III of the Taylor vacation recap.

Disclaimer: Tom Price has asked me to inform you all that tonight’s blog is brought to you by Plavix – the wonder drug that cleans out arteries when you are spineless and don’t have the willpower to ever eat a fruit or vegetable during your ENTIRE vacation – pick some up today!

We now return to our regularly scheduled program - already in progress...

Day 9: So today went for the “Golden Round Trip,” which basically entails selling body parts to pay for a wonderful day out in Lucerne. After getting the usual Pretzel covered in cheese, salami, and cream cheese (that’s right folks – you can just call me the European Richard Simmons), we hopped aboard a ship for a 90 minute cruise on Lake Lucerne. Yes, that's right Kim, Sean, Ray, Shogun, and Megs, I was ON A BOAT!!!! I hope that, at this time, you weren't at Kinko's makin' copies...

The day was beautiful, and we had seats on the outside, meaning that we could watch as the pre-Alps and the “real” Alps sailed by in the distance. We made a few stops at small harbor villages, admiring the mountains and the scenery the whole time. All in all, I knew that we were in for a perfect day…

Next up was the arrival at Alpnachstad, where we boarded (apparently) the world’s steepest cog railway. T-bone – didn’t Royal Gorge say the EXACT same thing? Hmmmmm – all the same, I’m gonna side with these guys, as we tackled 27-48% grades for 30 minutes before making it to the top of Lucerne – Mt. Pilatus.

As I referenced earlier, the day was still GORGEOUS. The Lake fading into the distance as we ascend, rocky cliffs all around, and even shaggy cows with their cow bells clanging on all sides (Dinger – we STILL need more Cow Bell – and an update…). As we continued the climb, I was at peace. And that’s when I first felt the chilly alpine air and noticed a faint sliver of cloud on our right hand side.

This was followed by another cloud. Which was followed by a slightly larger one. Which was then followed by A COMPLETE AND TOTAL WHITE OUT LIKE SOMETHING FROM A STEPHEN KING NOVEL THAT WAS NOT ON THE RADAR WHEN WE STARTED THE MORNING’S JOURNEY. In other words, we were TOTALLY socked in.

What did we see from 7000 feet, ringed by the Alps on all sides? Well, first there was the trick of FINDING my wife. Here she is staggering out of the mist, either like an Angel descending from Heaven or the fisherman dude from “I Know What You Did Last Summer.”

And from the summit – here is the view that tells the WHOLE story. Actually, not the WHOLE story, because it was also raining and bloody FREEZING up there. But at least we saw the world’s longest Alpine horn (RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!) and some Alpine Sheep (ours are cooler in the states – bigger horns) before turning back for home.

On the way down, we rode a cable car that broke through the fog to reveal a gorgeous day. And whilst we didn’t get the great views we wanted at the summit, the views from here were spectacular. Best of all, we got to ride Switzerland’s longest summer toboggan run (that enough qualifying superlatives for you?). Dude – this was AWESOME – we rolled down this thing and had a blast. 2 instructions were given: Speed up…and slow down (we did a lot more of the former). This was WELL WORTH 8 francs.

We then decided to be adventurous in the sunshine and walk down to the next hamlet before catching the final leg of the cable car. The journey started out nice…for about 12 steps. At that point, we descended like Banshees into the pits of Hell. I mean, for crying out loud, the Eiger isn’t this steep. My legs are STILL sore from the drop.

And best of all, about 100 feet further, the trail splits THREE WAYS WITH NO SIGN. Is anyone around? Nope. Are there any markings? Of course not! You’re getting back to nature – why would you want a guide?

45 minutes later we are still walking straight down (after 2 dead ends into some Blair Witch Project buildings) along a BIKE PATH with NO view of the cable car. And then, just when I had given up, we saw a sign that said “Wanderweg” (pathway). 2 minutes later, there were more signs than slot machines in Vegas. Swiss tourism board – ya might want to work on that one…unless you’re just trying to feed critters in the Alps with tourists.

Once back in Lucerne, it was back to the Rathaus for some more Rathaus Pilsner and then over to another Italian joint before calling it a night. A GREAT DAY!

Day 10: Today we wandered around Lucerne for the final time, stopping again at the Lion Monument and doing some shopping before taking a final few (like 600) photos. It was a cloudless day, and we didn’t want to leave! However, Zurich beckoned, and so we hopped a 2:10 train for Switzerland’s center of commerce.

Zurich is a very big city, and there really wasn’t much to do. We hit a few churches, wandered down past the water, and even into a festival that felt like Rosenheim (I got excited and instantly started singing “Sweet Caroline,” but I quit abruptly when everyone else was silent and rocking out to “Saxophone Attack”).

The highlight, however, was going to the Zurich Observatory and having a drink at the Jules Verne Bar, where we had the CHOICE table and a great view of the city. That night we followed a local’s advice and went to Johanniter, where I had a GREAT dinner of hash browns, bacon, tons of cheese, and fried eggs. Yes, I realize that might sound like breakfast to you. But I’m European now – that’s how we roll (Rice – for the record – it was good, but it still wasn’t the Rice casserole).

Day 11: We had planned to have a nice “sit down” brekkie this day, but the cost of $30 a person for coffee and bread just didn’t sit right with us. The fallback? Send muffin puffin into the local grocery store, have her buy 2 wheels of cheese and two packages of sausage, and then wash it all down with a huge pretzel roll whilst sitting with coffee at Starbucks – the result was a pair of smiling (and stuffed) tourists and a HUGE cost savings.
Then it was off to the airport and back to London, where we had curries and Cobras to celebrate the return to the mother country.

Okay, that’s the trip in a nut shell. Tomorrow will be back to normal stuff (I’m sure you’re thrilled, C-Web). If it’s any consolation, I’ll be in Madrid next week, and there should be some GREAT stories that come out of that.

That’s all the news that’s fit to print. Chat tomorrow!

Love,

Sam and Jenny