Thursday, 21 January 2010

Phrases I never want my children to say...


And a good evening to you from across the Pond after a...well, a LONG day in the Mother Country. Transition gods - I'm sorry I taunted you last night - it will NEVER happen again...

Not a whole lot to report tonight since I got home 15 minutes ago and probably won't eat, but hey- it's at least an AFD (insert Pat Bannon singing "Look on the Bright Side of Life" here).

While I was in the midst of a "challenging" day at work, I realized there are some things I hope I never hear again. As I tried to make humor out of the predicament, I started wondering how ghosts of Transitions past might one day come to haunt me and my family. And so below are some things that passed through my head. I realize in advance that, if you are not in Change Management, most of this will NOT be funny (and honestly probably won't be even if you ARE in Change Management). That being said, here we go:

1. Daddy, I can't do my homework. I think we have a Service Recovery.

2. I can't eat those peas until I review all the interdependencies of not finishing my mashed potatoes first.

3. Why should I mow the lawn today? It's only now trending amber on our cutover task list.

4. Yeah, pop, you probably think you can take away my allowance. However, my CLA says that it's an acquired right. Better yet, if you give my sister more, the shared CLA will gift it to me as well. And a need a lunch voucher (Ray - tried to work in a "Row 74" line here as well - just didn't get there).

5. Can I take the car for a drive even though we haven't regression tested it against the new asphalt?

6. Um, no - I don't think I got the memo that I need to clean my room. You see, the interface runs on a lag, and only indicative data is flowing through - transactional data goes straight to the basement.

7. You're not gonna make me fill in a Change Control to buy this song on i-Pod, are you?

8. I'm trying to find an outfit I like dad, but none of the clothes you bought me at Christmas can be remediated with the clothes from my birthday.

9. Let's talk about a phased approach to getting me off this couch and doing the dishes - multi-generational plans are always best.

10. There was some ambiguity in the requirement "Be home at 10."

Also, in other news, the City of Knoxville has decided to name their new sewer facility the "Lane Kiffin Waste Water Management Center." The quote the Hitman passed along was particularly priceless, coming from a lawyer in Knox County: "We want to memorialize him in an appropriate way." CLASSIC! Rice - by stock in that company!

Also, as I type this, it should be noted that my perfect pumpkin is dancing the night away at some "Open Bar/Buffet/Trivia Night/Game Night/Disco party." it's currently 11:41, and the funny part is the last thing she said to me before leaving this morning: "No way I'm staying late. I want to get home and get to bed early." Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Too cute, muffin!

Okay, that's all the news that's fit to print. I'm certainly not one to wish a single day of my life away, but I'm ready for the weekend! Chat tomorrow!


Sam and Jenny

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