Tuesday 30 March 2010

The GREAT sayings of the Commonwealth...

Family,

And a good evening to you from across the Pond after another GREAT DAY in the Mother Country. Today was wicked busy at work, but thanks to the valiant efforts of Ray "Old School Cool" Tavares, I am still employed and didn't firebomb any houses in London or the Iberian Peninsula. But let's just say I now love jamon y queso even less than before...



So first off, I'll bore you with my usual details: I logged 70 minutes on the bike today, burning right at 400 calories and covering 35km. Tomorrow it's another 60 minute ride followed by time on the treadmill. Provided I feel no pain, I'm going for 2 km's. And whilst I'm talking running, I must give a shout out to Brian "Teddy KGB meets The Most Interesting Man in the World meets Boudreaux meets Tailwind Turner" Freidinger for his recent 5k accomplishment. Brother Freidinger turned in 21:06 for 3.1 miles, an average of just 6:48 a mile! Dinger rolled home 17th out of 197. Full marks, brother!


So today was a super busy day in the office, but during a conference call I realized what tonight's blog needed to focus on - sayings of the commonwealth. Here's the deal - in my immediate area are a Brit, an Aussie, a South African, another Brit, and a Venezuelan (obviously NOT commonwealth, but go with it - viva la gente), and they use some GREAT phrases. Let me give you my favorites that you only hear in "Queen's English" (meaning you'd get stabbed if you said this in the streets of Harlem) and then give you the translation:


1. "You are a one trick pony" (Australian) - "You had a moment of success, but you are now broken and will never, EVER be heard from again."


2. "Jumping up and down like a poison dwarf" (British) - "I'm so pissed I could destroy your garden (a VERY serious offense to the British apparently)."


3. "It's all swings and roundabouts" (British) - This is their version for "peaks and valleys."


4. "It appears a bit of Jiggery Pokery" (South African) - "I'm not sure that I completely trust or follow your logic."


5. "Storm in a Tea Cup" (Australian) - "This was a very big deal to a TOTAL DONKEY, but it's really not important in any way, shape, or form to anyone with half a brain."


6. "She's throwing her toys out of the pram" (British): "She's a complainer who likes to make a fuss."


7. "I'm having a right strop" (British): "I'm going to pitch a fit."


8. "He's about to chuck a nanna" (Australian): "He's about to throw a temper tantrum."



9. "Thanks for that" (British): "Thanks, man." I really appreciate you going out of your way."


10. "Thanks a bunch" (British): "Really? That's all the help you can offer? GO @#$# YOURSELF." For the record, I'm not joking on this - I learned this one the hard way in '08...


11. "That's near as damn it" (South African): "Brother - this is as close as that analysis is gonna get."


12. "Hell's teeth" (South African): "Oh for crying out loud, you moron!"


13. "Tell him to go pound sand" (British): "Since he clearly only has half a functioning brain, please give him something mindless to do so he can't torpedo us any more.


Fret not - as I get more, I'll be certain to share. :-)


Tonight was great - since Muffin Puffin is off to Slovenia tomorrow (Be careful, Muffin!), we had a last dinner at the Raj - GREAT AS ALWAYS. The guy even threw in a free half pint of Kingfisher for me (such a good man). Hey, let's not kid ourselves - a standing goal of 2 straight AFD's was always gonna be a trick for me.


JT just finished a journal and has cracked open a new one for the trip. Yazz - you better take care of her for me!


And it pains me to say it, but since it's on the i-Pod right now - Happy 24th birthday, Lady Gaga. You have officially poisoned my mind.


Okay, that's all the news that's fit to print. I LOVE YOU, MUFFIN!! BE SAFE!!!!!!


Love,


Sam and Jenny

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