Tuesday, 12 April 2011

Another first (and most likely last) for the Bull - a Body Combat class in Asia...

Family, And a good evening to you from across the globe after another GREAT DAY in the Lion City, where de la Vega is enjoying a nice Amarula nightcap as he blogs. The Bull got up fairly early today, as he had a chat with Lovely Lori and did not want to be late. The consequence of rising a bit earlier, however, was that I didn't get brekkie. Consequently, when noon rolled around after 3 straight hours of meetings, Four Leaf was STARVING. So we rolled over to Seah Im (the Hawker Center), at which point I entered a new level of fatness - I ORDERED 2 MEALS. Tiny little Asian people were running for their lives in all directions, fearing that, if provoked, I might eat them as well. The funniest moment was the lady at the second stall when I showed up with a plate already. You could tell that she just had no idea what to do, as she'd never had to make space on a tray before for TWO plates. It was classic. And check out the sugar cane juice - it's better than ever, baby!!!! I know that I've explained Hawker stalls before, but I also realize that I've never shown you a picture of the center. From our vantage point today, we didn't have a good view, but as you can see from the pic, it's basically stall after stall of food, with each group specializing in something different (Indian, Pakistani, Chinese, you name it). For me, there is nothing better than pork rice, but JT is Pakistani chicken rice all the way. Brother Issssshhhhhhh - you'd be so proud. In the evening, I rolled back to Fitness First, where, due to a COMPLETE LOSS OF BRAIN FUNCTION, I decided to take the plunge and try one of Jenny's "recommendations" - BODY COMBAT. After my first class, all I can say is SHOOT ME IN THE FACE WITH AN ELEPHANT GUN. Let me recap it for you: 1. I show up and have NO IDEA what I'm supposed to do. There's an Asian Richard Simmons stretching in front of the room, and he's got ALL MANNER OF TORTURE DEVICES in front of him. 2. There are about 50 Asian cats and 4 Ang Mo's in the room. We huddle in the center for protection, as we're not sure if this is going to turn into some Jujitsu riot. 3. Jenny always told me to "get in quick so you can reserve a space." She neglected to mention the part where you "RUN LIKE A RABID BANSHEE TO THE WEIGHT STATION, THE STEP STATION, THE WEIGHT BAR STATION, AND THE MAT STATION" to get all of your equipment. Seriously - some people were kitted out like they were going to Everest - I've seen less gear on Congo expeditions. 4. Asian Richard Simmons (ARS) talks, sings (off key), yells, and laughs THE ENTIRE HOUR. And by laugh I mean "suck air in and out as though you're a hyena on speed who's hyperventilating." The most interesting part? He was, I THINK, telling jokes constantly. The 4 Ang mo's in the middle never smiled, as we had NO IDEA what he was saying. The rest of the class? CACKLING WITH RECKLESS ABANDON. I now have the feeling he was talking about us... 5. The music throughout was HARD CORE rap, but when we get to the cool down? JOSH GROBAN, BABY. And did that keep him from singing? Nope. Not so much. So there you have it - I can't raise my arms. I can't bend over. Showering is almost as painful as being shot with a riot gun. I told Jenny that, if she really wanted me dead, she should have just encouraged me to run the full Sundown Marathon vs. the half, strapped with 80 tons of weights in my back. Okay, that's all the news that's fit to print. Chat tomorrow! Love, Sam and Jenny

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