Monday, 18 April 2011

The Bushido Buzzcut...

And a good evening to you from across the globe after another GREAT DAY in the Lion City. So today was a good one, as Muffin Puffin and I scarfed down some grub at Pastamania (incidentally, this place has totally RIPPED OFF the logo of Fazoli's, but GIVE ME THOSE FRESH BREAD STICKS COVERED IN GARLIC AND BUTTER, BABY - seriously - West End Morristown, right across from Applebee's and beside Buddy B-B-Q - just Heaven...) and had productive days across the board. We rolled out about 6:30, making it to the track on time and hitting it HARD. The good news for the Bull? I finally, finally, FINALLY ran with the A Group, baby!!!
We did a half mile warm-up, followed by 4 1K runs at a 4 minute pace (with a 1 minute break). I definitely fell off the pace after the first 2 (translation - I got DROPPED in the last half), but I still finished with the A Group and was really pleased with the effort. Miller - it's not exactly 567 800's or whatever you did the other week, but I was pleased. Muffin Puffin was an animal as well, and we celebrated with our second straight AFD. Again - if this had been London, it would have been a 7 pint Sunday, followed by a pub dinner on the Monday (and another 3 Heinekens) - instead we're running to the point of our lungs bursting and then coming home to eat Dragon fruit. Owain - I need you to come and save me...
So whilst sitting down to do the bliggy blog tonight, it occurred to me that I never related a GREAT story from Saturday. Now some of you might have noticed that I got my hair cut, which means you know that I endured my own personal hell by shelling out THIRTY BUCKS FOR A DAMN TRIM. However, if there ever was a cut worth 30 bucks, THIS was it.
So I selected some Japanese place for my haircut, and, shockingly enough, I was the ONLY Ang Mo in the joint. For that matter, I was the only cat speaking English in the joint. How do I know this? I know this because of my first conversation with the "stylist" - let's call her The Last Samurai.
The Last Samurai (TLS): "HOW YOU CUT!?!?!?"
Sammy the Bull (StB): "I want a 4 on top..." (cut off and dismissed by waving of hands by TLS)
TLS: (walks away and comes back with a card of different hair styles on ninjas) "YOU POINT!"
StB: (points and hope she doesn't call her cousin Shinobi to AXE MY FACE)
TLS then proceeds to WRAP ME IN 4 BUNDLES of cloth. Seriously - I am so covered that I start sweating BULLETS, and I can barely breathe from how tightly she's wrapped this thing around my neck. I start hearing the theme from Ninja Gaiden in my head, and then I start thinking about Raz Algul saying "Death does not WAIT for you to get a haircut!"
So TLS does, in fact, get out the clippers, but only to make to VERY MINOR buzzing motions through my hair. You see, I guess the code of Ronin doesn't allow for you to use electricity - or perhaps it just throws off the chi of all the patrons present. Either way, TLS goes "hero in the half shell" and begins WHIPPING THROUGH MY HAIR, pulling out about half as much as she cuts. And when she's done and I say "shorter," she vanishes for about 5 minutes, during which time I'm pretty sure I'm about to be on the set of a Jackie Chan film.
She then comes back out and TRIPLES HER SPEED. Seriously - you would have had to have seen it to believe it. Hair is FLYING EVERYWHERE, and my face is COVERED IN IT. But since I'm practically STRAPPED TO THE CHAIR AND THERE'S A BLADE FLYING AROUND MY HEAD, I just grin and bare it. But soon enough she's done, at which point SHE TAKES OUT A RAZOR AND STARTS SHAVING AROUND MY EARS. At least she brought over warm foam - it's nice that they kill you with kindness.
The finishing touch was a "massage" whereby 2 things happen:
1. She rubs your head until your hair follicles are bleeding and begging for mercy.
2. She gives you a "back massage" which consists of her SLAPPING THE @#$# out of your shoulders - not a whole lot of rubbing goes on.
She then marches you to the counter (after she unbundles you, of course), at which point you pay whilst she brushes you off. I didn't even get a chance to bow to Piston Honda, as she'd already gone to throw ninja stars (shruiken - there, I said it) at the next customer.
All in all, it was an AWESOME experience. I'm already looking forward to June or July.
Okay, those are all the Ninja references I've got (oh, wait - Michael Dudikoff - American Ninja, baby!!!) and all the news that's fit to print. Chat tomorrow!
Tsang Tsung and Sonja (FINISH HIM!!!!!!)

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