And so, uber relaxed and freshly rubbed, we rolled into Seminyak for dinner at a GREAT place called Warung (I think it was the old train station). We ate like KINGS, splitting some great Indonesian and Balinese dishes before going for a wander around Seminyak in search of a night cap.
It was interesting - when we got in the shuttle to go to dinner, we asked to go to the "nice section of Kuta" (another town just past Seminyak). The drive looked at us as though we'd just said "Would you please take us to the part of North Korea that LOVES Westerners?" Seriously - he just shook his head and said, "No. No Kuta." When I followed up with "How about just the main square," he replied, "I think is no. Is no good. You no do. Not good restaurant. Just crazy people." Now THAT's a rousing endorsement - make that guy the minister of tourism...
So we're wandering around thinking that Seminyak will be low on bars, but we actually found a couple that looked good. The winner, however, was OBVIOUS when we walked past it and saw this Indonesian cat in a BEANIE screaming "Killin' in the NAME of!!!!!" I mean, if an Asian band is gonna cover Rage Against the Machine (AND the drinks are cheap), you've got me.
The girls got into the mix as well, but here they're dancing to "I Gotta Feelin'." Fizzy - where WERE you?!?!?!?
We then rolled back to the flat, where we passed OUT about 12:30 and slept like the dead once again.
The next morning we rolled out of bed about 9:30, caught brekkie again (still rubbish coffee), and then threw caution to the wind by visiting the leper colony of Kuta. About 35 seconds into arrival, we understood why home boy had tried to warn us off it - IT WAS A @#$# HOLE. WOW. Seriously - the DIRTIEST BEACH I have EVER seen. I got into the water twice, and both times trash just covered me and wrapped around me. I'm lucky I didn't get a syringe to the achilles or something. However, there was this REALLY sweet entry way to the beach, so that was cool.
We stopped for a coffee (flat white, baby), and we just sat for about an hour because a) there was nothing better to do and b) because it was POURING. Seriously - you realize the beauty of a drainage system when you're in a country that doesn't have one - WOW. It was a MEGA MONSOON for about an hour, and the water was inches deep in the road. It did lighten up eventually, however, at which point we wandered down the street to kill some time via - what else - ANOTHER MASSAGE!
So here's the deal - the goal was "a 1 hour massage for less than $10 USD." In terms of the "What," I can confirm that we exceeded expectations ($7, baby). In terms of the how, well...let's just say that I'm still paying for it.
We had planned to hit this place advertising $9.50 massages, but then Sarah got a flyer from a gal offering 1 hour for $7. This was a GREAT deal we thought, and so we all said yes. Only then did I realize that something might be sliiiiiiightly amiss. For starters, we were lead INTO THEIR APARTMENT, which a) had 2 SKUZZY lookin' dudes smoking out side and b) had been converted into a rather less than steller looking massage parlor. Wanted to keep an eye on things, I changed my massage to a foot massage vs. body. JT and Sarah stuck with body massages, with the consequence being that Jenny had to flip her pillow over due to the amount of hair on the side facing up - QUALITY.
So we kick off this massage, and the first thing this gal does is try to "cross sell" me a manicure. Lady, I haven't shaved in 4 days (although you can't tell since I can't grow a beard) - do I LOOK like I want trim nails? Be glad I'm not STABBING you with these claws. They also tried to give me a pedicure as well - WTF. Seriously - just rub my damn feet. Well, they did - as well as my calf muscles. HOLY @#$@#$@#$!!!!
For the record - I now have a SERIOUS internal bruise from where that demon rubbed so hard. In addition, she pressed so long in 1 spot that my leg hair and skin is INFLAMED. Plus I have this weird itch in my toe and calf...these red spots are normal, right?
The weirdest part (other than the fact that the massage ladies were talking the ENTIRE TIME) was the fact that, when I open my eyes about 10 minutes into the rub, I realize that, of the 2 curtains that were CLOSED when I started, Sarah's curtain is now open. Now I just assumed that, because it was closest to the door, they needed it out of the way (most of her is covered, for the record, so SHUT IT). I think nothing of it, until they tell both her and Jenny to "turn over," at which point I realize that they think she and I are together and apparently I MUST WANT TO WATCH HER MASSAGE. My eyes go shut and then the girls figure it out - "OOOOOOOOOH - he's with the OTHER one." So what do they do? They close Sarah's curtain and OPEN JENNY'S. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Do dudes normally WANT to watch? SKETCH.
1. I was hassled for a tip, so I gave 50 cents. I think I gave too much.
2. My leg hair may never grow back. Oh well, at least T-Rowe and I will have that in common.
3. My calf is STILL tight and hurts to touch it.
4. I am pretty sure that, in 2 months time, I'll have some new immunities to show off to the World Health Organization.
We then got a final drink in a coffee shop before heading to the airport, where we SCARFED down food and got to our gate EXACTLY as it closed. We had an easy flight back in, and then it was farewell to the girls before rolling home and hitting up Wine Connection for some EXTRA AWESOME cheese and even a few glasses of vino (Cab Sauv for Muffin; Rioja for the Bull).
Ladies - it was a GREAT trip - already looking forward to the next one!
And last but not least - Good job, Heels. I know it's not the Final Four, but it was a HELL of a season - overachievers this year in my book.
Okay, that's all the news that's fit to print. Chat tomorrow!
Sam and Jenny (and Lily and Sarah)